The least anticipated movies of 2015
“These are the movies that almost nobody is excited about, and that almost nobody is looking forward to seeing (though, if history is any guide, people will still turn out in droves to pay to see them...
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 1 of 12)
“While it may not be based on an existing property, there’s nothing the slightest bit ‘original’ about this movie’s plot.”
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 2 of 12)
“Was this dialogue written by humans?”
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 3 of 12)
“Caine’s just surfing the deferential equation slopes, broham!”
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 4 of 12)
“Are there people who were convinced up until this moment that bees are questioning, doubtful liars?”
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015): a recap (part 5 of 12): Caine is the perfect...
In which we learn the true origins of the human race, as well as Caine Wise’s tragic backstory, which is uncannily similar to a certain legendary bouncer.
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 7 of 12): Must love dogs
In which we meet a half-man/half-elephant, and Jupiter confesses her feelings for Caine in the most embarrassingly stupid way possible.
View ArticleJupiter Ascending (2015), a recap (part 8 of 12): Aquarela do Bureaucracy
Two writer-directors entrusted with a $175 million budget decide to bring their sci-fi/action film to a dead stop for no good reason. But hey, they got Terry Gilliam to do a cameo!
View ArticleV for Vendetta (2005)
“It dangles the possibility of an extreme group taking over and placing anyone of certain ethnicities, religions, sexual orientation, and immigrant status into concentration camps which, thanks to the...
View ArticleThe Matrix, Revisited: 50% of a great trilogy
“...By which I mean the greatness rests in the first one and half of Reloaded. Matrix: Revolutions contains 0% greatness, 40% stupidity, and 60% boredom.”
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